Welcome to another edition of Common Ground Online. Here's what's in this week's edition:
- Autumn Tells Her Story in Chatelaine Magazine
Autumn Stringam, author of A Promise of Hope, tells her story of her road to wellness in the recent collector’s edition of Chatelaine. Autumn was one of the first to get well on EMPowerplus, now over 12 years ago. Her story has inspired thousands to take hope in the encouraging
opportunity of a life after mentall illness, with proper nutrient intervention. Please take the time to read and share with your friends and family the following excerpts from Autumn's remarkable recovery.
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Autumn Stringam and daughter Meagan |
"When there’s no milk in the fridge, I go to the grocery store to buy some. On weeknights, I pack healthy lunches for my four kids, and in the mornings, I wave them off to school. These may seem like simple things; I may seem like a typical mom. But 12 years ago, when I was in the darkness of bipolar disorder, everything was very different.
"There was a time when I wasn’t allowed to be alone with my three-year-old son. I suffered from a severe form of the disorder characterized by extreme highs and lows in mood. I’d go through periods of irrational, grandiose thoughts and then depression.
"At my lowest, I would feel it coming on, like hot tar welling up from my bowels into my throat, bubbling and churning. First the agitation, then the anger, the grief and the voices, creepy and hissing, so loud that it was as if someone was yelling beside me. I’d lunge in to the kitchen and rummage through drawers for a knife. My dad would hold me in a tight hug. “Autumn,” he’d plead, holding my arms down. I would be hoarse from screaming, yet I couldn’t make myself stop. I was 23 years old, and I was under constant supervision by my husband or my dad. I was taking five different drugs, and was on suicide watch. I never imagined I would ever function like a normal person.
An emotional child
"At school, I remember my Grade 4 teacher leaning over my desk and whispering, “Autumn, why are you crying?” as she shielded my face from the rest of the class with her body. I lied about not being able to do my math assignment. Some days, I did no homework. Other days, I did so much my teacher thought I was cheating.
"When I graduated from high school…I went through two apartments, two jobs, and six boyfriends in less than three months… At 18, I met Dana…seven months after our August wedding, I was pregnant. My joy was quickly replaced by fear. I’d lie in bed all day, consumed by thoughts of dying. Our basement apartment was strewn with dirty towels, and food-crusted dishes filled the sink. Dana thought I was just homesick and hormonal. Weeks after our son, James, was born, I refused to get out of bed to take care of him. Dana would roll me around to latch James onto my breast so he could nurse. “What’s the matter with you?” Dana would ask. “Your baby is hungry. He needs you.”
"Dana enrolled in classes held at a community college, and every morning, he’d leave the apartment early and lock the door. Lying in bed, I’d hear voices that told me he was only pretending to lock the door, that he had actually left the door unlocked so someone could come in to kill me and my baby. Hours after he left, I’d be laying under the bedcovers, stiff with terror. One morning, Dana forgot a textbook and came back into the apartment. I attacked him in the hallway, thrashing and screaming. At first Dana thought it was a joke. But when he realized I was serious, he said, “You’re sick.” Shortly after, I was misdiagnosed with postpartum depression and prescribed Prozac. The medication worsened my symptoms: Six weeks after I started taking it, I tried to jump out of a moving car. Holding my seat belt down with one hand and steering with the other, Dana drove me back to the doctor.
"This time I was diagnosed with rapid-cycling bipolar 1. I’d never heard of the disease, which causes cycles of mania and depression at least four times a year. In my case, these cycles changed almost daily. The doctor prescribed lithium, which was effective in many bipolar cases.
"The lithium didn’t work for long. Over three years, my doctor tried combinations of 13 drugs. I was haunted by voices, visions of monsters and fantasies of suicide. I’d see hideous demons in the medicine-cabinet mirror in the bathroom. Even with a full bladder, I’d wait for Dana to escort me to the toilet. I was in and out of psychiatric and emergency wards.
My dad’s quest
"…My father [Anthony Stephan] spent months pouring over medical books, combing the internet and reading everything he could find on bipolar disorder. Eventually, he and a friend [David Hardy] formulated a vitamin regimen based on their research, which they tried on me and my brother. It was a last resort.
"By that point, I was so heavily medicated; I didn’t know what they were feeding me. Yet within a day or two, the visions disappeared. My extreme mood swings eased. Two months later, I was entirely off medication; I took only the vitamins, every day. For the first time in years, I was productive. When we ran out of vegetables, I went grocery shopping without Dana. I started doing laundry. I rode my bike again.
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Autumn Stringam and Family |
"Even after my symptoms were under control, I went through counseling to gain clarity. I had to rebuild my partnership with Dana, after years of him taking care of me…I made up for lost time with James, who is now 15. Dana and I also gave birth to three daughters: Samantha, who is now 8, Melanie, who is now 6, and Meagan, who’s 4. Our girls are constant reminders that there is life after mental illness. Today, I’m present with my children. I’m predictable. I know exactly what I am going to be like tomorrow morning."
- Autumn Stringam
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Autumn Tells Her Story in Chatelaine Magazine